I know I am created by God. Never for once have I doubted this. I know my life is His gift but growing up, I gradually but surely claimed it as my own. My mantra has always been the lines in William Ernest Henley’s Invictus that say,
“I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.”
My freedom versus God’s will. These two contrasting choices make decision-making quite a struggle for me. But because I am obstinate and want to always be in control, my freedom to choose what I want almost always wins.
Over the years, I have lived my life the way I want it lived but lately, I am bothered by this constant nudging I feel in my heart. I know God wants something else for me but it is just typical of me to hold on to what I want. And so we clash.
Today’s prayer though answers everything for me. My freedom and God’s will need not contrast. My Lord and my God and I need not clash. For it is when I use my freedom to choose His will that the best decisions are made.
My life is a collaboration between God and me and it is when I control less of it that I do more than better for it is when I let go and let God that I do and am at my best.