I have always looked up to you. From the moment I heard you speaking your thoughts, I was ensnared. I was charmed by your sharp mind and sense of humor. And in no time, I found myself wanting to gain your approval.
And so in everything I did, I hoped to please you. Was I wearing the right dress? Did you notice my new hairstyle? What did you think of my ideas? It was crazy but worth your compliments or at the least, your notice.
But the more I did things for you, the more critical you became. I did it wrong. I was wrong. And the harder I tried to make things right, the more restrictions you had. It was not enough. I wasn’t enough. Never mind that at some points, I bent myself out of shape trying to please you.
This went on for a long time until I finally didn’t recognize the girl that I was. I would look at myself in the mirror, take in the sad, almost lifeless eyes and wonder, “Where had my zest for life gone?”
Then it hit me: I had lost myself trying to gain your approval.
Worse, it was all in vain for I knew you would always be unattainable. You made this crystal clear but my stubbornness made me hope albeit hopelessly.
I’m done dancing to your tune. I’m done jumping through the hoops while you call the shots.
Simply put, I’m just done living my life to suit you.