Love is a Decision

hands letting gophoto credit

Last night, I came across this post from a friend’s Facebook wall:

“What if I have lost that feeling? Will you put the blame on me?”

I stared at it for a whole 3 minutes while I was brought back to that time when I was asked an almost similar question by someone who became my the-one-who-got-away…

Then, carefully, I typed in my reply.

Someone told me this more than a decade ago: “Love is not a feeling but a decision.”

The lyrics of one of my favorite songs also comes to mind: “If it’s love and we decide (emphasis mine) that it’s forever, no one else could do it better…”

Because truly, love is a choice.  And a relationship is a two-way traffic. Both of you are responsible for sustaining it.

If you lost it, it means you decided to let go, but you cannot blame yourself entirely because you may have opted out of it because s/he did not value your love enough for him/her to give you reasons to stay.

This morning, I woke up to find out that the above post garnered some Likes.  And earlier tonight, a friend said it was full of sense.  It is, but to me, only now.

Funny how we can see things clearly only when the moment that matters has already passed us by.

To my the-one-who-got-away, I’m sorry I did not give you the reason you needed to stay. I was too young then to know better. If I knew then what I know now, I would have chosen differently.

The past is over and done with, I know.  I made my bed and must lie on it.

Because life, like love, is also a decision.  I cannot spend my life looking back on what was, or chasing after might-have-beens.  I already made my choice and for my own sake, must make this choice work for me.


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