Pardon my looong hiatus from this blog. I got busy during the holidays and in between my much-needed long vacation at home, got so swamped with work.
I came up with the above photo and the accompanying quote because I was annoyed with someone who, for the nth time took solo credit for something I initiated. It’s a good thing that over the years, we’ve become friends so I was able to talk to her about how I really felt and we were able to settle our differences before we called it a day.
Nevertheless, I’m documenting this photo to remind me that there is more to life than getting credit for the things I do. I know myself and more importantly, God knows everything. I don’t need anyone’s acknowledgment to know my worth, or to know what I’ve done, or to affirm anything. I only have to do my best, and He will take care of the rest.
Photo taken at Cornell University in Ithaca, New York. Black and white filter courtesy of Snapseed. Text added using PhotoGrid. Pixlr-o-matic’s Sand frame completes this photo’s washed-out look.
before sunset at Fisherman’s Village, Batanes
Everything’s a matter of perspective. And I thank my lucky stars that regardless of what life brings me, I always see beauty in anything. Sure, my rose-tinted glasses sometimes darken but just when they get too dark, hope bursts in like a ray of much-needed sunshine.
Lately, things have not been going as well as I hoped. Worse, some people have been weighing me down with their negativity. It was so continuous an onslaught that I almost caved in.
Thankfully, I have my crafts to keep me busy when I was not yet ready to come to terms with everything, my songs to help me release my emotions (think of me belting out the lyrics from Puddle of Mudd’s Blurry, Sara Bareilles’ King of Anything, and Lily Allen’s F*ck You with great gusto), and this blog as an outlet. More importantly, I have my loved ones to draw strength and laughter from.
I’m still not really okay, and there are moments when I still feel like flipping the middle finger, but I take comfort in the fact that so long as I look at the brighter side of life, there will always be something to keep me going.
My Sunday turned sour when my mom sent me an SMS saying she received my billing statement from Sun Cellular, which is really a surprise since what I bought from them is a Sun Broadband prepaid kit. And by bought, I meant I already paid for it in cash.
So I called long distance to Aklan to clarify and the customer service guy told me to just disregard it. What?! Just like that?!
This isn’t the first time I got very displeased with Sun Cellular Kalibo branch’s customer service (or lack thereof). In October while on vacation in Aklan, I inquired about the said broadband because I needed Internet connection for my work. I specifically asked their staff if they have a strong signal in my hometown. They said yes and one of them even checked Google Earth before giving me his assurance. And so I was convinced into buying that kit. Though my kit was prepaid, I was surprised when they had me sign an application form. When I asked, they assured me it was for their file and because I was getting 60 hours (30 hours per month) of free Internet.
After the initial 24-hour activation, the device could not get any signal at all so I called them from my mobile. The same “Google Earth” guy said he would check and call me but after learning I didn’t have a landline number, he backed out. Huh?! Is your customer not worth a few pesos of phone calls? So I told him I would be the one to call back. And I did only to be told to just bring the unit to their office.
At the office, I met A who told me they gave me the wrong unit that is why it could not get any signal. She added they would just replace it with the correct unit but by then, I had enough so I asked for a refund to my purchase. She said she would check with their manager first and let me know the following day (which in itself is already a hassle since that meant taking the hour-long trip back to Kalibo). To build up my case, I laid out the following to her:
- The unit is unused (which she verified). I bought it only after they assured me that it would work in my hometown but it failed me big time. And so I missed my online work for a couple of days.
- It’s not my fault they gave me the wrong unit. And no, I did not want a replacement unit or to gamble on the possibility that the new unit would work. What if again it wouldn’t?
- While there and just now, I noticed their flyer for a trial pack advertising that the buyer can return the kit within 5 days of purchase if s/he is dissatisfied. Those 2 guys knew my concern about their signal in my hometown so if they really cared about their clients, they would have offered that to me. But no. They focused more on their sales talk to close the deal to get their commission.
The following day, A called me and said they approved my refund. Hurrah! Though I did not get a full refund (I paid Php1,495 but only around Php900 was returned to me as A said the rest was for the SIM and the “free” 60-hour Internet.), I was glad I got any refund at all and could finally close my unfortunate Sun Cellular experience.
Or so I thought.
Sending a billing statement to someone who not only bought just a prepaid kit from you (and already paid for it in cash) but also did not use (and even terminated) your services? Oh wow. That sure is so incompetent of you.
I have always looked up to you. From the moment I heard you speaking your thoughts, I was ensnared. I was charmed by your sharp mind and sense of humor. And in no time, I found myself wanting to gain your approval.
And so in everything I did, I hoped to please you. Was I wearing the right dress? Did you notice my new hairstyle? What did you think of my ideas? It was crazy but worth your compliments or at the least, your notice.
But the more I did things for you, the more critical you became. I did it wrong. I was wrong. And the harder I tried to make things right, the more restrictions you had. It was not enough. I wasn’t enough. Never mind that at some points, I bent myself out of shape trying to please you.
This went on for a long time until I finally didn’t recognize the girl that I was. I would look at myself in the mirror, take in the sad, almost lifeless eyes and wonder, “Where had my zest for life gone?”
Then it hit me: I had lost myself trying to gain your approval.
Worse, it was all in vain for I knew you would always be unattainable. You made this crystal clear but my stubbornness made me hope albeit hopelessly.
I’m done dancing to your tune. I’m done jumping through the hoops while you call the shots.
Simply put, I’m just done living my life to suit you.