Here I go again. Writing about my frustrations because it’s easier this way than expressing them out loud, especially to the person involved.

I mean to rant as writing has long been my outlet, but then I hear this song on Jango.

…Or you can start speaking up
Nothing’s gonna hurt you the way that words do
And they settle ‘neath your skin
Kept on the inside and no sunlight
Sometimes a shadow wins
But I wonder what would happen if you

Say what you wanna say
And let the words fall out
Honestly I wanna see you be brave…

Honestly, I want this too, but it’s just difficult, especially when I am keeping my silence to protect a loved one from getting hurt.  What a person doesn’t know won’t hurt him/her, right?

Besides, there’s this nagging thought of me baring my soul, but not being heard or worse, believed in.

Don’t run, stop holding your tongue
Maybe there’s a way out of the cage where you live
Maybe one of these days you can let the light in
Show me how big your brave is

As these words sink in, I realize that though it takes courage to hold everything in to spare someone the pain, it does take more courage to tell the person the truth no matter how it hurts.

Innocence, your history of silence
Won’t do you any good
Did you think it would?
Let your words be anything but empty
Why don’t you tell them the truth?

Yes, bottling this all up does not do me any good. And so I will speak out, but I will do so with gentleness. I will be honest, but be tactful as well. This person has hurt me, but I can tell her about it without hurting her too.

PS: Thank you, Sara Bareilles for the inspiration. Your songs are awesome, and your videos never fail to make me smile.