Tag Archives: Self

The Happy Introvert

introvert

And they wonder how I can spend a long weekend holed up in my room doing “nothing,” not realizing that despite my three days off work, I still feel I don’t have enough time to enjoy my books, writing, series and movie marathons, and arts and crafts.

I am often asked about how I can enjoy shopping or watching a movie by myself; I wonder how they cannot.

They marvel at how I can travel alone and be fine with it when I have always thought of travel as a journey of self-discovery, reflection, and learning.

It’s not that I don’t like people. I do (well, at least some of them, heh), and I love spending time with these people, but being introverted, I have always needed an alone time to think things over and recharge.

For me, being alone is not synonymous with being lonely. One can revel in being alone without feeling like s/he’s missing out on anything.

I am the happy introvert who is comfortable in my own company. I’m not anti-social, just selective of the company I keep and enjoy. And while some spend a lifetime chasing after their happiness, I have always found mine within myself.

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photo taken at Cornell University’s Botanical Garden using a Sony Cybershot RX 100 II.  Contrast edited via Snapseed.  Frame/border is also Snapseed’s.  Text added using Phonto. 

Note to Self: I Just Want to See You Be Brave

brave
Here I go again. Writing about my frustrations because it’s easier this way than expressing them out loud, especially to the person involved.

I mean to rant as writing has long been my outlet, but then I hear this song on Jango.

…Or you can start speaking up
Nothing’s gonna hurt you the way that words do
And they settle ‘neath your skin
Kept on the inside and no sunlight
Sometimes a shadow wins
But I wonder what would happen if you

Say what you wanna say
And let the words fall out
Honestly I wanna see you be brave…

Honestly, I want this too, but it’s just difficult, especially when I am keeping my silence to protect a loved one from getting hurt.  What a person doesn’t know won’t hurt him/her, right?

Besides, there’s this nagging thought of me baring my soul, but not being heard or worse, believed in.

Don’t run, stop holding your tongue
Maybe there’s a way out of the cage where you live
Maybe one of these days you can let the light in
Show me how big your brave is

As these words sink in, I realize that though it takes courage to hold everything in to spare someone the pain, it does take more courage to tell the person the truth no matter how it hurts.

Innocence, your history of silence
Won’t do you any good
Did you think it would?
Let your words be anything but empty
Why don’t you tell them the truth?

Yes, bottling this all up does not do me any good. And so I will speak out, but I will do so with gentleness. I will be honest, but be tactful as well. This person has hurt me, but I can tell her about it without hurting her too.

PS: Thank you, Sara Bareilles for the inspiration. Your songs are awesome, and your videos never fail to make me smile.

How Far I’ve Come

photo credit

I run and keep on running.  My legs ache and my sweat-stained face mirror my exhaustion.  I slow down my pace a bit and strain my eyes to see what is beyond me.  “How far is and how long will it take me to the finish line?” I muse.

I continue running until my legs feel as if they cannot support me any longer.  And so I stop.  Chest heaving, I breathe in gulps of air.  My heart feels as if anytime soon, it will burst.  Left with nothing to do, I stand still and look farther out into the horizon.  Then it hit me.

I have been so consumed with worrying about how far I am from my destination that I forgot to look back.  If I had, I would realize the long journey I had.  The many meters and all the twists and bends that I encountered and hurdled.  And the successes gained and lessons learned along the way.

Life’s journey is not entirely about how far I am from reaching my goal.  It is also about how far I have come from the starting point and how my experiences have molded me into the person that I am today.